Laura Ann Tull is ARTISTIC HOPE
I filled legally to be ARTISTIC HOPE in 2011. I even published it in the BRITTISH paper in Los Aneles in 2011 after roughly 2 years of blogging under that name. ARTISTIC HOPE started as a bloger blog. I wanted to build a one person business. Unfortunately we live in a country with people who do not understand that ideas are a comodoty as much as a product or physical item. ART has worth. Ideas have value. The cultivation of the human mind to create something out of nothing is not just an object you hold in your hand. If that were so, the US Constituion would not say that people have the right to earn financially from their “writings.” Writings has been expanded to mean video, photos, and all forms of art. At one point I think I created a facebook page that was listed as an organization, but only because facebook did not have a category to put what I was doing. I had spent most of my childhood feeling like I was not allowed to have a creative mind. I was not allowed to be an artist. There is something wrong with the idea that creativity must be killed out of adults. As if having an imgination were only a quality accpeted in the young.
I am an artist in my own way. For me I think I wanted artistichop to be something that was not all about me and my art. I have 3 websites I run. ARTISTICHOPE.com. Womenlovepeace.com. LauraANNTULL.com I wanted to find a way to advertise on the sites. But I was always conflicted by how and who. JUst when I was gettng comfortable and thought I had possibilities I started being harassed and bulled on social media and it made me untrusting. I also did not want to play favorites with artists. I had I think almost a million hits on this site when I had it with another host. I dropped that host because of techincal issues. Someone for years was harassing me to leave Los Angeles, but artistichope does not belong in small town in TEXAS or in a political town like Washington DC. I did not want my site to be about funding or politics, though I did not want to be restricted from being able to talk about those things.
IN a way I now realize what I wanted was a kind of lifestyle blog for my own creative journey where I could show people things I saw that inspired me. I do not like the hive construct where single voices are silenced. I also am very tired of the fact that my existance is now seen as a hate crime. I am a secularist. I do not like it when someone pushes religion onto others. I think religion is a private matter. Though I’ve written about artists who have religious icongraphy in their work. I do not chose to promote religion. Apparently my not wanting CHURCH in my life is a sign I am a bigot just by my very existence.
I had 2 accounts on twitter. One was @lauraanntull and the other was @artistichope. Laura Ann Tull had 1600 followers. I would have had almost 5000 but over the years I think I blocked 3000 accounts. I was only blocked by about 180 accounts. I checked with an online service that told me this information.
I have written theater reviews in Los Angeles and articles on examiner.com about the arts. I have judged scripts for the script writers network back in 2003 after taking a class in script reading at Santa Monica College. I studined critical theouy of art at American University as part of a program in Performing Arts Management. I studied communications law and wrote papers on censorship and art funding and droit morale. I am also a trained actor for Theater and Film and TV. In addiction I studied digital art media at Santa Monica College. Basically I can use many of the ADOBE digital art programs and can edit digital media. I am a digital film maker. I am not a cartoonistt animator. I have a law degree where my primay focus was on communications law and first amedment issues.
I am beng treated as if I am some horribel selfish person by two people who are stalking me on social media and twisted their hate around to say I am the one who is bothering them. My very existence as a secularist and vegan apparenly bothers them. I have no values because I do not go to church. I believe we are all HUMAN. I think actions should matter more than prayer. I am being told I need to be kind. I do not try to be mean. But I can not make everyone happy. Art is personal and subjective.
I became an actor because of actors I saw who I thought Had oustanding behavior. People who stood up for values I appreacated, like fighting for the homelss or to save the planet. I did not become an actor to promote religion or to be treated like an object with no indiviual freedom. I persued acting and even law to have a voice and express what I think. I will not be shut down by someone who will not accept my values are my own to have. If I do not want to go to church that does not mean I am a horrible bigot who hates people. I am vegan but I am pretty sure not all artists I have written about share that lifestyle. I would hoever not want to write about an artist who says they hate me just because of my vegan values.
I have thought about including my veganism in this site by writing about how important I feel promoting veganism is to helping save the planet but I do not want to make artist think I will not like them simply because they eat meat. I gave up red meat at 18. I have not had a burger in decades.
It does not matterr how long it has been by the way since I did my last acting project. to me if I am never going to be an actor again I have no hope and no freedom and I will never be happy or feel safe. I will feel alone in a crowed and I will feel like a failure. I had heart and passion. I will never have heart of hard work again if I cannot pursue the things that make me happy. I am not going to be successful pursuing a career path I do not love and where I feel like I have been forced to take that direction with my life.
I loved being on film and telesion sets. I loved changing who I was all the time. I loved getting lost in a character. I loved being given a good script and figuring out the character I am to read. I love poetry and story. Other art forms inspire me to be a creative person.
We talk about ethics but ethics are not RELIGION. Morality is not religion. The principals we live by are ethics. I choes my own path. I believe in respecting the law. I believe in respecting human rights. But policing peoples thoughts and ideas versus policing their actions is a bit distopian and apocalyptic.
I want to be able to download a complete copy of my @lauraanntull twitter account that was banned by a person calling themselves CASSANDRATAYLOR and seding me multiple emails berating my vegan lifestyle and saying I do not know what suffering is. The grass is never greener on the other side. I do not know if I have felt as mush pain as someone else. I can not compare my pain to anyone else. I am not capable of reading others minds. But sayind I do not know suffering or pain is incredibly inhumane and unempathtic and unhelpful.
I had this incredibly versatile mind that could write and create words and worlds. I am one of those people who has a rich inner dialogue with myself. I can talk to myself for hours and keep myself amused. Having a thinking mind or an inner dialogue is not schizophrenia. I do not think bugs are crawling on me all the time or see things that are not there. I have hashimotis and a high white blood cell count. I have alleriges to yeast and pork and latex.
I am being driven to have no hope. I need community. I loved working on sets and being in the industry. I do not want to work for someone who wants to take acting and the entertainment industry out of my life. I do not wath the evening news. I do not read the news paper religiously. I want to know what shows are being made? What storied are being told? What kinds of genres and styles of art are polular? What is happening in our mythology that we create every day as part of out history and where do I fit in all of it?
Cassandra Taylor is saying I lose it with friends. No not really. Who ever is saying I get violent or angry is not a friend of mine and ever was. I hate my exboyfriend Frank because he liked to get my angry. He thought I was sexy angry. I was in apin being angry and stressed. I think anger is an important emotion that should not be ignored but I also think it has to be handled constructively and not let lose with any kind of physical violence. I didnot antagonize people in the industry. I am being cut off from the industry.
I went to TOWSON HIGH SCHOOL and was a MARYLAND DISTINGUISHED SCHOLAR. But I have not lived in Maryland since 2002. I also changed from the time I was a fresh man to being a senior. I joined the TRACK team. I found my own voice. I spent a summer working with autistic kids in Connecticutt. I was taught at TOWSON that out country was secular and you did not talk religion at school. https://towsonhs.bcps.org/
Being a MARYLAND DISTINGUISHED SCHOLAR is an honor elected by my high school. I had to have a GPA of 3.7 of higher. Basically it means I was liked by my teachers and school. There were 3 of us in my graduate class. One boy and another girl. https://www.collegexpress.com/scholarships/distinguished-scholar-award/15102/
I did not do drugs. I did not cheat. I did not get into trouble.
I wrote my these at AMERICAN UNIVERSITY on NEA VS FINley which is about obscenity laws and censorship. I know what is legally appriate online. And I feel like the censorship tool is being used to silence me for being a sexularist rather than being used to reallyl prevent hate cimes or inappropriate speech. I am being silenced to make me go away and disapper. MAYBE even so someone can take this webiste from me and claim ARTISTICHOPE as their own. Why let me stay on twitter as ARTISTIC HOPE but make me feel like I as LAURAANNTULL can not have a way to connect or be seen and known on twitter. I had artistichope for a few years before my lauraanntull account was banned. My other account clearly says I also am ARTISTICHOPE.
I feel like I am required to be a buiness and not a person. I am required to make money but I myself do not matter. My happiness does not matter. My values do not matter. I am not allowed to ever by mentally health again. Mentally healthy to me is I am getting up and writing like this every day. I am getting online and trying to audition for acting work. Mentally healthy is me being myself. It is me striving for the dreasm I have to create. It is not being made to fail by some stranger in the UK or a guy I knew for just a few days in 2007 on sets.
I have so many things I wanted to write on this site. I feel like I owe people an appoligy If I attended something and did not write anything. I just feel so broken because every time I make steps that might actually get me emplyed doing things I love and even doing acting, I have someone trying to stop me from being an artist. I am not a technical person who likes to learn about computer programming. I was giftedn and talended social studies because I loved learning about art and culture and people and behavior. I did not want to be a politicain or lawyer really. My parents pushed me in that direction. It is why I worked for COURT TV for a year. But I really would rather play a lawyer on TV than be one. I would rather binge watch LORD OF THE RINGS than see the footage from the last gun massacre. (We really do have a gun problem.) I care about what is going on. But the truth is I want my imagination back to its healthy viobrant creative self and me acting and doing things I love. I suspect who is doing this is jealous. My life is not easy. I am living with a disease. Just let me be happy and let me exist. I can not have children now unless I get a miracle. I donot want to adopt. I want to be able to stand on my own. I am not the kind of person who would flirt in Hollywood to make it. I do not want people stalking me online who want to shove their beliefs into my life. When I have on my profiles who I am and yet I get CHRISTIAN MEN or WOMEN my mom’s age with bible versus on thier social media that to me is intentional antagonism. Why are you not following people who agree with you?
I needed my lauraanntull account on twitter so I could connect with people like mineded to me while keeping my business out of my actor and personal life. LAURA ANN TULL is my name with SAG AFTRA. WE DO NOT HAVE ROYALTY IN AMERICA and SAG AFTRA should not be preventing people like me from working to be actors. STOP TRYING TO TELL ME I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE SAG AFTRA BECAUSE I WAS AN EXTRA. WHAT STAR OF HITLER’s GERMANY DO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR? I now will never have a retirement fund. I will never own a home. I will never have love in my life. I will never have a boyfriend because If I can not have my own money I will never feel safe letting men in my l personal life.
THIS IS THE GUY WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ME IN 2005. https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-c-gilbreath-a9130115
THIS is his wife who is GOP and CHRISTIAN according to MYLIFE on line. https://www.facebook.com/alaina.filo/
I was not pretty in high school. I blossomed in college when I started working out and eating the way I wanted to. When I finlly had control over my own health and well being. I feel like many artists can understand this. WHo are paretns are, is not who we are. It is messed up that decades after I left my childhood I find people telling me I am crazy because they find out I did not turn into my parents. EVOLUTION EXISTS even in the HUMAN condition.
LOVE YOURSELF. MAKE YOUR ART. GROW. FIND YOUR PEOPLE. NEVER GIVE INTO A BULLY.