Venice Art Crawl Rose Street party September 2014
PLEASE NOTE THAT ON MY 2nd “A WINDOW BETWEEN WORLDS” will be having the EVENT “ART IN THE AFTERNOON.” As you read this article you will get an understanding as to why I would broadcast this event. It is NOT FREE however they offer free crafting at THIS VAC event. Visit www.awbw.org for more information. This is an important organization in VENICE as it is trying to promote art as a tool to overcome domestic violence and abuse.
It has been awhile since I posted on here. I have been rather shattered by my UNION SAG AFTRA and the perspective that because I am for the arts I am somehow a socialist and dangerous to society. I have never hurt anyone in my life. I did not built this site to create a WAR. I built this site because I grew up with an absence of ART in my life. I grew up with a sense I could not find myself but had to be what others expected me to be. I have had moments in my life when I was beautiful, but those are gone. When I was at my best and attractive, I was free to be me. I think all women are their best when they can feel safe and free to be themselves. But to me ART meant emotional expression. It meant a psychologically healthy atmosphere to be creative and be a kid and we ALL NEED THAT. We do. We all at all ages need to be allowed to LAUGH, LOVE, FEEL SAFE, and not live with constant stress.
I have too much to want to write about. Forgive if this blog digresses. These are things I need to be heard.
I attended the VENICE ART CRAWL in September 2014. I go to things alone these days. I don’t trust anyone anymore. Not after what the INDUSTRY did to me. I feel manipulated. I feel abused. I feel as if people are trying to get me to be with people my parents would think are good people meanwhile my parents make me feel suicidal. I am not a bigot or anti-Semitic. I have had more friends, when I had friends who were not conservative standard WASP. However, I feel like the JEWISH community is doing the same thing. One group pushing me to go one way and another the other and in the end I am lost alone. I have also been attacked online and what makes me really disgusted is that the person attacked ARTISTIC HOPE. I don’t know if it was because they saw me as a threat. SERIOUSLY make up your mind. I am either an ugly old woman now with no capacity to attract anyone, so I am NO THREAT to anyone, or I am SHEBA. Do you honestly think a person who would make the effort to come up with something LIKE ARTISTIC HOPE is a conservative? Do you think to me it is all about money and fame. WE ALL THOUGH WANT TO BE RESPECTED and have some sense we achieved something or at least have the things in our lives that make us feel safe and loved. WITHOUT ACTING AND THE ARTS I FEEL TERRIFIED AND ALONE.
I am the VICTIM of a sexual assault by one JEREMY GILBREATHE whose girlfriend is an ARTIST named ALAINA FILO. Alaina FILO went to my COLLEGE McDaniel where I was KNOWN as an ART PHOTOGRAPHER, GRAPHIC ARTIST (self taught), ACTRESS, and conservative LIBERAL. I was a nice girl who believed in SOCIAL CHANGE. She looks like a CALI Girl. That does not mean her boyfriend did not assault me. And don’t assume because I am a strong woman I am not straight or BI. I respect people who are as long as they DO NOT try to make me join the family. Individuality means JUST THAT- we each have the right to say who we are. HOLISTIC CARE means MENTAL HEALTH and it means you don’t go out and BULLY A FELLOW ARTIST. If this person attacking me did so to keep me away so they could have a GUY I hope that GUY finds out what a monster you really are. I suspect that ALANIA may work for DISNEY as I heard JEREMY once say on a set that he was getting a DISNEY Discount. Or maybe he started working on ELI STONE after I left. I have been BEGGING Blake SHIELDS to ask the UNION to give me my rights back as he does not need CAP or workshops and neither does ASAF COHEN.
Sometimes the right people for someone to be friends with ARE FLAWED and not perfect. I feel good about life when I can express my emotions without being made fun of for it. I feel good about life when I can laugh and be silly without being called crazy because I am not being a good conservative type who looks like I walked out of a GOP meeting. I feel caught between the world my parents want me to be in and the person I truly am and the world I kind of fit in with artists and actors. I also feel a pull within the art world between those of the pop culture have fun perspective and the corporate art has only value for the price. What is really sad is I am over 18 years old. SAG AFTRA should not be making me have relationships to get a real job, they don’t know me. I should not have to have a boyfriend to be in the same room with men I rejected and don’t want. I am losing my mind because of all the good hearted people who thought they were doing the right thing but then no one asked me. I had good credit. I was in debt with no savings for a future but I wanted to work hard to be the best at acting and to train. I wanted to help make movies and work in production, but only if it was understood my ultimate goal was to act. We are all complex. Despite liking being silly I have a tendency to like drama and intellectual horror and thrillers and art house films.
I wanted to keep ARTISTIC HOPE more of a news site. I wanted to keep this site free of ME and more about inspiring ART but today I have had a melt down. Today I am realizing I created this to have a VOICE because I am tired as a woman of being subjugated to ABUSE. I am tired as a woman that we live in a male dominated society so things like art and creativity and FUN don’t matter. I realized this just now. We don’t live in a mentally healthy society because to many patriarchal leaders project the image that life is supposed to be about power and control and not love compassion and FUN.
I stopped having FUN because of what the UNION did to me. I remember saying someone was looking out for me and helping me get work and I did not know who. Jeff Olan and others I think thought I had power I did not, when under it all I thought someone LOVED ME so much they were helping me have a reason to live. Without real LOVE, and I mean the kind where you are respected and you are not interfered with and you are allowed to fall down and get yourself back up life is madness. Not the kind of love I seem to be attracting, I care about you so much I am going to ignore who you are and make you just like me. TO ME THAT IS WHY ART IS IMPORTANT. Without the First AMENDEMENT. Without free expression, there is no democracy, freedom or individuality. Mental health can go into the toilet along with integrity. I mean how can anyone have integrity if you can’t be who you are at your core without judgment. I find this ironic since a teacher last week told us that we should not go to interviews in a suit in the INDUSTRY, We should be NORMAL. Yet I feel I am being pushed to be a SUIT!! Actors do dress up for auditions because they dress to play the character. Yet I am being forced to go wear a suit and I am hating life because of it. I don’t want to be a lawyer. I left that profession in 2002 and I will never go back. I wanted to keep it ARTISTIC HOPE more of a non-profit but not have to make it into a non profit because i did not want a board controlling the content. I wanted to emphasize we all have the right to be individuals and express.
Well the Venice Art Crawl (VAC) is a fine example of that. It is bohemian new age urban art combining traditional forms with pop culture and graphite. It is electronic and acapella, rock and roll and blue grass. This time around they closed down ROSE STREET and I think it was the BEST VAC I have been to yet. Laser art and modern sculpture, 3D images, and a photo booth. Paintings and mixed media. A drum cart and a DJ. The images of the night speak volumes.