FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION SAG AFTRA HYPOCRISY

I am listening to the freedom of expression talk on ZOOM with SAG AFTRA for TURKEY and I wonder if CATERIS knows what a hypocrite she is talking about equality. The UNION has been ostracizing me and I was being bullied on line by someone claiming to be a UNION member who told me they wanted all actors who got in as background kicked out of the UNION.
MEMBERSHIP in SAG AFTRA is regulated by an act of CONGRESS. Taft Hartley act. I earned 4 SAG vouchers which means I earned 4 TAFT HARTLEYs and therefor I am SAG AFTRA.

I am proud that SAG AFTRA is trying to help TURKEY but I am also furious. HOW DARE the CURRENT LEADERSHIP talk equality and freedom of EXPRESSION. Do they know what the lawyers of SAG AFTRA have been doing for their CLIENT “the union” to me since 2012? I have been treated as though I am not a member when I am. I have not been giving a trial or due process. IT is like banning a member of the press from being able to share their stories to the public. I can not work as an actor or work on my acting if I am cut off from the membership. The UNION is 160000 people. Did the UNION take a vote or is this one or two vindictive UNION background angry at me because I worked so much non union or are friends with JEREMY GILBREATHE who tried to rape me? DO they know that I earned SAG AFTRA and that I am an equal to them? UNDER TAFT HARTLEY I am a member. THERE IS NO Requirement i MAKE x AMOUNT TO PARTICIPATE. Granted to have health benefits I have to work a certain amount. My parents have no right to dictate my associations? My father says he owns me. So I am a slave to my family? I say that because I think the union has been talking to my parents behind my back. EVERYONE is shouting FREE BRITNEY? But how many union members are stuck like Britney because of acts of the UNION?

I was thrown into an institution in 2012 for saying I went to law school by the police at a SAG meeting and it was CRABTREE IRELAND who pointed at me and indicated to the police to grab me as I was leaving the building. I had two shorts in festivals and was growing a career. I did go to law school and have the right to say I am a LAWYER. I never said I was an attorney. BUT I DID PLAY AN ATTORNEY on TV. I have pay checks that say ATTORNEY from sets but that was ACTING and I have the right to play an actor even if not licensed as a lawyer. ACTING is not reality TV. In fact people who knew me on sets knew I said I went to law school but was not practicing and would never practice. DO you know I have discovered that CRABTREE IRELAND was the ABA rep of his law school at the same time I was the ABA rep of CATHOLIC LAW SCHOOL. So he could have easily determined I went to law school. My IMDB even says I played an attorney on ELI STONE. That is what the script said I was doing. I saw the script pages and it said the character of “ELI STONE” pulls a phone from “ATTORNEY with CELL PHONE.”

I wrote in my acting journal in 2006 that one of my most important values was the freedom of artistic expression and the freedom of religion including the right not to believe in a GOD. I am not being treated like an equal. I am not being treated like I should be allowed to exist. I am an actor. I do not go to the movies with friends anymore because if I can not work in movies I do not want to watch them with people with real jobs living the AMERICAN DREAM. because to me my dream was to keep working to act. I do not want to go on dates. I want to be on sets acting again.

I am sick. I do not look perfect. DO you think SAG AFTRA you can talk about equality if you only include as actors attractive people? I may be ADHD so trying to make me like other things or move on with my life away from actors because you think i am obsessive and that would be for the best, is the opposite of right. I have no passion for getting up in the morning now. I am AN AMERICAN and I studied theater and TV acting, but I am not allowed with the membership while a man who tried to rape me gets to keep working and have a family.

I do not have a future. I have no hope of achieving autonomy. I have no hope of having a voice. AS A KID my parents would tell me I could be seen and not heard. They do not listen to me. I told my father I wanted to be an actor and he would say but I want to be a lawyer to or that if I reached for a star I would get burned. I got a scholarship to college and suddenly I had the right to pursue my goals and yet I still got a business degree to make him happy but not to work as a suit. I spent more time in college at the theater and dressed like a goth artsy girl.

I worked for my college’s film department. I went on to work for ROUNDSHOUSE THEATER but also studied TV acting at AMERICAN UNIVERSITY. I am tired because there is nothing I am passionate about and I need passion. I am very sick. I have been very ill for a decade and what SAG AFTRA has been doing is cruel and sadistic. Growing up I was never really happy. I mean I was a smiling happy kid but I never thought I would be happy. I was so happy thinking I was going to have a future acting. SAG AFTRA has made me feel LIKE I DO NOT MATTER. AMERICA HAS MADE ME FEEL LIKE I DO NOT MATTER AND AM NOT IMPORTANT. I have nothing to offer people if I can not create stories act and make films. I am not my father. I did not want to work in border law or immigration. I had no passion for criminal law. I can’t practice law. I think about it and have a panic attack. I went to a psychologist with the CALIFORNIA bar back in like 2003 2004 and she agreed that I should not think about being a lawyer anymore. When I thought about practicing law and my father dead I felt nothing but hate for him and living with the feeling of hate to long is not mentally healthy for anyone.

Stop saying I should find something useful to do because being useful makes me feel like I am being used. I felt like I was doing what I was made to do when I was working in the industry. I feel like I do not belong alive anymore. I do not feel like I am even part of the HUMAN RACE.

I started working on sets in 2003 and never thought about taking CLE classes or doing anything as a lawyer ever again. I walked away from law and this was my life. I needed to find work that gave me happiness and joy and not work that made me full of rage and anger.

I got cancer in 2005. I was sexually assaulted in late 2005 early 2006. By 2008 I had an incurable autoimmune disease. I wanted to make CALIFORNIA my home and instead I was trolled and isolated and traumatized over and over and the UNION helped. Their treatment of me like I am not a member when I am, was like giving the nerdy kid in school a wedgie,

I have never attacked anyone. I have never hurt anyone. I also did not do anything to deserve being terminated from every agency in Los ANGELES as a background artist months after being tripped on a set. I stopped living. I started this website to give me some hope and to stay active. But without acting I have no desire to be around people. I do not want to go to church. I do not want to have friends to talk to even. I want to be on sets acting and in acting classes. I want to create characters and be allowed to express my self artistically. I am not going to be working as a waitress when I have a law degree and bad knees.

If I can not build a career as a writer and I can not build an audience I do not have anything to love or a reason to keep going.

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